NIGHTTIME in a red dress with a bottle of wine.
i feel it in my toes and in my head
piano is on the TV and the memory
of the love i had for you and me
me and me
green light
humming humming humming
birds in the dark cant be seen
just heard
i feel the dinner i made in my hands
pasta caked on my nail beds
bed covered in clothes i didn’t wear
and shoes on my feet my hair up
im serious
about the things i’m crazy about
excited is a word i overuse
other people say weird
sure use your defenses
label a space with a door
pour more wine or take it slow
should i just take it slow
ducky was pretty
arthur had a sword
i want a kid
i am
but i want a reason for
well, too
what happens when the rest of your life
is seen and you know, ya know, you know
im sweating
and nodding
and feel happy in the tips of my eye lashes
like they might drip
drip drop with the rush of the maybe
the next maybe
is the last
maybe the
never is a horrible word
so is love
both so finite.
did i mention im serious
about the never
being a never
i hear you
nighttime in a red dress with
hands pumping blood down to click
breath pounds out because
well it’s more escaping out
because well I’m a losing guard
never is a terrible word
but it has the word ever in it too
ever never forever. 

christine hauer