Welp, I made it through my second week of Los Angeles living. And I realized that the first week was definitely honeymoon phase week. Second week? Ok wow, we are living together now. I moved in and OK so, we are here. This is us being here now. Kk.
I had a solo Thanksgiving this year. No worries, I’m fine my dear lovas, in the end? Kind of epic. There was a 9PM grocery run, much pasta, more Sex in the City…Oh and kind of a life changing experience where I found a forever friend.
I silent cried in the morning a tiny bit because I’m dramatic and then made coffee and went to the beach. I felt all this openness when I sat down and looked out at that beefy sky with its fine horizon line. I felt rooted and heartful and hopeful and maybe kind of stoic. Ya, stoic-y.
Then, Sunset. The most stunning sunset I’ve ever seen exploded in front of me, hugging my retinas. The world was like: Hey Girlfriend, you’re good, we’re good, get after it. And I realized that the Earth and all its parts are kind of another version of me, another person. It’s got its dark colors and light colors and tears and caffeine and delicate lines and beefy muscles and plenty of issues and the right perfections. The world can be my friend when I’m feeling lonely, and I can just walk beside it and hold it’s wind-brazen hand and let my mind wander beside the Earth’s wanderings while we try to figure it all out…Or we don’t figure and just wander for wanderings sake. That thought got me through this second week in LA, this open field full of sun and soil and space. I just got to get to gardening!
Below are some flowers I planted, some lettuce heads that emerged, and a few farming tips I’m going to take moving forward.
Xo LA, Xo. - CH
---> SMALL DISCLAIMER: I've been trying to hide my slight tone of bitterness towards LA in this week's blog post, re-writing and editing and trying to make it more chipper, but to hell with it, I can be a tiny bit blue if I want to and need to. If everything is sugar sweet sunshine, you get high-blood pressure and arthritis. BUT to create an atmosphere of good energy, I've included some affirmations through-out this post to remind us (me me me) that everything is a learning experience, nothing is permanent, and it's all a journey with valleys and mountains. Yes. This is a mountain. And laughing, let's laugh as we hike, here's a video about muffins:
Windows Down, Heat Up
Singing really helped me stay connected this week. Lots of car singing…lots. And the good thing about car singing is you can do it in any temperature! Because, surprise, California can still get kind of cold. To balance it, I recommend keeping your windows down for optimal car singing status WHILE blasting your heat around your feet and face. Favorite songs to sing loudly and unyieldingly this week?
- Meet Virginia by Train
- All of Nothing by O-Town
- Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright by Bob Dylan
- Dancing On My Own by Robyn
- Nothing Left For You by Sam Smith
After seeing a show at Hi Hat this week, I was sitting in my car about to go home and I just didn’t want to use a GPS. I didn’t want to be told where to go, I just wanted to know. I decided I was going to head back to weho, to the casa, sans-MapTech. Harrah.
About an hour later, I pulled into my driveway. Quite a ride, I made it through the highways, but I think I got off an exit too soon because I landed in the middle of tall buildings and then got into circles around a big college campus. I went by Korea Town and parks. I listened to playlists on my lil stereo island of sound, the WonderUEBoom. I looked around for a beacon, something that looked familiar. I kept the windows down and sang some Etta James. I found Wilshire(!) Avenue but then I lost it again…It all led to the song Dancing on My Own coming on and the realization that there wasn’t a North Star here, there isn’t an Empire State Building that re-centers me when I don’t know which way is up and down, L.A. is in the grass with wide streets and tons of twinkly lights on hills that all look the same.
I almost pulled open Google Maps in defeat, to see where the heck I was…when I rolled over Wilshire again. AND this time, it was crossing over a street that looked kind of familiar. BOOM. I did it! I knew where I was! I actually yelled a big “YASSSSSSSSSSS” out loud and did that move where you pull your elbow into your side? The success elbow move? I did that.
LA is a city of stars. I need to look in, not up.
On the Water
I went to the beach almost every day this week. And it was the best action-item I could have done because, wow. The beaches out here have soft sand, manageably tempered water, pretty seagulls, and the best wave to crest ratio. I beached on Santa Monica Beach, Venice Beach, El Matador Beach in Malibu, passed by Zuma Beach (but couldn’t really see anything because of #RequiemofaDream fog), and Marina Del Rey. Who were my companions? Books:
- The Power to Dream by Nancy Joy Ho
- The Comedy Bible by Judy Carter
- Save the Cat: The Last Book on Screenwriting You Will Ever Need by Blake Snyder
- The Comedians: Drunks, Thieves, Scoundrels, and the History of American Comedy by Kliph Nesteroff
+++ A zillion beverages including ginger tea in a thermos, iced coffee with funky cashew milk in a mason jar, water in a bottle and, one of the days, I made a berry smoothie and ate that in a glass.
+++++ My submitters have a ukulele I'm playing around with :) Hope to share some sort of a 'song' soon, I've figuring out there are 4 strings on it.
Running For My Life
Doing this thing where I’m trying to run at least a mile / day. It’s going pretty well, you can follow my progress on the Nike+ app if you’ve got that little appy. Favorite part of running right now? BEACH RUNNING. Going down from Santa Monica to Venice and back up is by far the best running I’ve done in a while. It’s calming, but paced and the sun and surf make the horribleness that is running feel not as bad. Also, muscle beach makes my muscle shirts feel good about themselves.
P.S. I miss walking. NYC walking is real.
I appreciate my body made of muscles that allows me to run and breath and do whatever I want to do at any given moment.
Do It For The Sunsets
You know how you can have a perfect NYC day? (Can you tell I'm homesick?) Like the light is perfect, the leaves are red and orange, the air is crisp, you catch all the trains, you get a free almond latte just because, you run into your bestie on the street, you wear the perfect amount of layers and feel effortlessly chic? You know those perfect NYC days? OK well those days exist because NYC can also give you the WORST DAY OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. The extreme is real and you fight and grind and battle through so you can have those perfect NYC days.
Same is true in LA. I can feel alone and fat and useless and community-less BUT... You do it for the SUNSETS. These sunsets y'all, they are the saving grace and the reason behind the effort. So look out there when you visit and soak in that golden hour sun because it makes you feel as pretty and perfect as you'll ever feel out here.
Space for It
Tuesday night I went out to this hood called Highland Park to see this band play. I met a guitarist at that event last week, he was the catering chef and his band, Sur, was playing at this spot called The Hi Hat. Both were pretty good, but, my NYC people, it was like the size of Bowery Ballroom, but for 2 local bands with maybe 30 people sipping cider. I just kept saying, “This place is massive!” “How do they pay rent?” “How do they pay their sound guy?” “Is something else going to happen later or is this it?” “Would someone punch me in the face for being a judge-y New Yorker who can’t accept artists getting a lovely space to create in?” Thanks.
OHHHH and next door to Hi Hat was this donut place called Donut Friends. Um you won't believe me (i barely believe me) but all the donuts are Vegan. Ya. And they are some of the best BEST donuts I have ever had. I know. I still feel like they are lying and it's like Sweeney Todd's pies or the meat pie Arya serves in GOT, but BUT they said so. And these are not just 'healthy' good:
Finally figured out how to make stuff on iMovie. You might have watched the muffin movie featured above - here's another one! <3
On my way to the laundromat last night around 10:30PM, I say a massive raccoon wandering down Melrose. There are raccoons here(!) and they can straight chill, unscathed, making casual rights on Martel Street and stuff. Feels like I'm back in South Carolina a tad bit, the way the raccoon was waddling.
I then dropped my laundry off and the lady behind the desk - whose seen me pop in at weird times over the last week - triple confirmed my status, "you still don't have any friends, huh?" I wanted to tell her that the Raccoon seemed to be looking for me.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. - Anais Nin
I got into The Groundlings, yahooo, thinking I might start up a class there in the new year. (By got in, I just mean I'm eligible to sign up for their first level of courses). But first, I'm going to try and audit some acting classes to see if I want to take a little workshop or a once-a-week type dealo. Looking at Anthony Meindl’s actor’s workshop, Young Actors space in Sherman oaks, Paul Kampft, Diana Castle…I'll let you know where I settle! Thanks to my girl Kelsea for recommendation hunting and to Adam for LA-info-ing me. Oh and stand-up is happening, I finished writing my first 7 minute set, now I just need to go OUT there...this week. Yes, this week.
PLUS UP: 9 years ago I met Kofi Baffour at a bar in Myrtle Beach. And then Wednesday we saw each other again for a second time :) We've stayed in touch on FB and texting and chatting for 9 years ahhh and now we are both acting and creating in LA. Pretty cool. Got to help out with a scene, playing a dead girl who over-dosed, tiny clip of me breaking the
Definitely missed NYC the most this week, missed it more than I have ever missed it before in my life. That feisty jungle cat. It's kind of fun realizing how much you miss something, I know it's not GONE, but...it's not here. Truly missing all the people inside of NYC and all of the moments that burst through the seams of NYC at any given traffic light and bodega filled corner. Trying to just miss it a healthy amount, but right now, at 4:45PM PST on 11/28/17, I miss it more than any other day prior.
Home is where the heart is. Ambition is where the feet are.
THINGS I WATCHED THIS WEEK
The Wire – first three episodes because J.Mault said to do it; opinions = that guy was in Mona Lisa Smile and I wish I had seen this before doing my heroin scenes in the Passion Of Joan film.
Friends – not whole episodes just bits and Chandlers.
Sex in the city – more of the Smith episodes
Jim And Andy: The Great Beyond – everyone needs to watch this, Andy was a genius and Jim is my new favorite person.
QUOTES FROM JIM CARREY
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.
It is better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what's left?
Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting.
My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.
If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.
Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.
I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, ’Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.’
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
If you've got a talent, protect it.